Of Being Poor

I have been meaning to ask the candidates for the coming elections, who claim to have been 'poor', or are 'poor' like one of the many many Filipinos, some stupid questions but being in government, I value professional courtesy. So as a citizen, with emphasis on 'as a citizen', I wonder what the answers to my questions would be. 

For example, have any of them experienced not having money for food on the table? Because I have. And at that time, I was already in government. We had to 'lista' eggs which we boiled, and salted fish which we fried, from the sari-sari store nearby who wanted to help. Or have they ever put water with sugar in a baby bottle because they had nothing to buy milk with? Because I have, with my eldest. We had to wait for our salaries to buy my daughter a box. 

Have any of them worn hand-me-downs to go to work because they could not afford a decent office attire even at 'hulugan'? Have any of them ever been humiliated by those who lend money at usurious interest rates, when these people drop by anywhere you are and collect? Because I have. Have any of them been sneered at by the office cashier because their pay envelopes only had coins in them when claimed as all loans have been deducted? Have any of them walked from their homes to their offices because jeepney money was saved for lunch? Because I have. 

Have any of them ever looked at themselves in the mirror in the restroom at a certain time, and felt like they wanted to smash the mirror with their bare hands in frustration over their lives that lest they be asked to pay the broken mirror, resort to crying silently, tears not only flowing but muffled sobs push their way up from the pit of their stomachs? Because I have.

I am not being melodramatic here. I have long since realized that no one is to be blamed for being in situations which are consequences of the choices we make, but ourselves. No one else is to be blamed, not even government. The decision to get back up after life gives you blows to the stomach and get the wind knocked out of you, that is up to you. Not government. And the people who help us along the way? Like that sari-sari store vendor/neighbor who had compassion enough to give us food to get a meal through? These are the people who know what being 'poor' is all about.

Now if they all had been, or are, 'poor', my next question is, 'so?'. Does that mean that they will lead this nation to be a better one? I can only hope. President PNoy is not poor, we all know he was born to a family of 'old money'.  But he did one valuable thing, notwithstanding his lapses which are probably indications of him being the normal human being that he is, he led this country to decency. Decency. We need to think about that, because after all the drama that life brought me, I learned one important thing: one can compromise, without necessarily selling one's self-respect, dignity, decency. One's soul.