IngliseraKuno

From the other aisle of the warehouse-type grocery, I would hear her looking for me, yelling, 'Maaaa...'. I would say, 'Yeah, anak?'. And sensing where I was at, she would run towards me hiding something behind her and would ask with those chinky eyes, 'Kasya pa money mo? Puede pabili nito? (You have enough money? Can I buy this?)'. Then she would show me cup gelatins, her favorite. Of course I could not say no. I would make a quick mental calculation of how much I still have in my wallet, lest I would be forced to leave other groceries at the counter. At four or five years old, going to the grocery with me was an adventure to Ana. It was playtime, where she would run around the aisles and look for something she would fancy eating. Fortunately, she did not like expensive stuff, so 'yes' would always be the answer when she asks permission to get a pack of gelatin, wafer sticks, and local chocolates. The thing that made me feel so happy was the fact that...

Since I am on a roll talking about myself and my weight issues, I am temtpted to do another Let's Talk About Me. But allow me to delve on stories of my children, and how they came into this world. Alongside that, you will note that my weight will figure in there somewhere. Whether it is lost or gained. My pregnancy with Ana was a walk in the park. Literally, I walked. Not in the park, but all over San Fernando, because of work and errands. I felt like I could do anything, like I was on top of the world, perhaps pumped with so much excitement and anticipation of my daughter to arrive and join me in this world. I waited for two years to have her, the other line in the pregnancy test kit was so faint, I was not sure if she was really in my belly already. But indeed she was in there. I introduced her to music even while still in my belly, playing her classical songs through the speakers of a cheap audio player. I read a lot, books, magazines and lectures. I decided to go back to teac...

So Ana has typhoid. Yes, anak, I need to say that. We were in the ER for a couple of hours to get an IV in and have antibiotics drip. She seemed normal, still baked cookies, made a salad before the tests. Even after the treatment at the ER, in bed already to rest, we both fought the urge to eat but we lost. She ate voraciously. We realized it was only her second time to be in a hospital. The first time she was confined, she has dengue at two years old. After almost twenty years, she gets diagnosed with something major. Oh she has allergies, mild asthma attacks, cough and colds, every now and then. But this time she had persistent headache for a week, it was time for tests. I am writing about this because both my kids are so full of energy, they think they can 'rule the world' in a day. Unlike me. I have sniffles at the slightest whiff of dust, I get sinusitis with the smell of chemical air fresheners, I get colds just by being under a slight drizzle. I am trying to recall t...

There will always be one in your life, or in my case more than one, whom you will feel attachment to even after only  a few months of bring 'acquainted' with. Being a complicated person, leading a similarly complicated life, I can be a very difficult person to be simply acquainted with, moreso, to be a friend. I am a bit odd, what with my strong personality, my kindness of heart (I would like to think that so let me be), my colorful life (wink-wink). So I really have this great admiration for people who do like me, in the true sense of the word. To love me, oh, that is another story altogether. It would take patience and understanding beyond comprehension. But there are a few out there who do. Like me and love me, truly and sincerely, that is. 'Like' and 'Love' are so cheaply used nowadays, one would need to be a mind-reader to find out if such are true, sincere, and 'actionable'. I have been blessed to have them in my life. Those who care without expe...

One of these days I will have to accept that people are just raised differently. I mean I have always been conscious of how my behaviour will affect others, well especially when I behave badly. I indulge my ego several times, and act like an idiot, scare the hell out of my colleagues, have them all jumpy and running around to please me. Then after a while, guilt steps in. I realize I did a stupid thing, and I try to make amends. By smiling again, by cracking jokes, by treating them to our favorite 'mamon' (bread). And it is at this point when they don't know whether to smile back, laugh at my jokes or eat the bread. I laugh inside, not at them, but at myself. No wonder my daughter says I'm a bit bipolar. Imagine that on a grander scale. And on a more serious level. When people indulge their egos at your expense. With things that insult, anger or annoy you, done to you behind your back, and involving others who do not have business over your personal quirks. Oh yes, an...

There are times I feel this deep, creeping sadness, fear, insecurity, frustration, anger, whatever it is at a certain point in time, slowly consuming me until my heart beats so fast I'm afraid it will burst. Then I close my eyes and force myself to think of the moments in my life when these feelings are uncalled for. I count the precious moments of simple joys, realize there are hundreds of them, and I start to breathe easy. I know many will not understand why I have to exert effort to calm myself, to reassure and comfort myself. Probably a lot would wonder why I still experience this angst when I seem to be complete. The key word, being 'seem'. Only a few friends, and a few of my relatives (yes, even relatives) truly get me. Robin Williams took his own life a few days back. Those of us who grew up with him and his films I am sure, were shocked. This man 'seemed' to be happy, what with his mastery of his art, eliciting laughter even from the most coldhearted. I lo...

She yells. All the time. I think that it has become a normal thing to her, especially so when she has been our 'go-to' girl for years in the office. We need cash for groceries, tuition fees, medicines, etc., yup, you go to her. You barely finish your sentence, and she yells, 'awaaaannn!' (read: she does not want to loan you cash) but still hands you what you need at the end of the day. She helps you out just the same. I discovered she cares about me in her matter-of-fact way of speaking. Our relationship started with an average of four kilos of pork meat each week that I get on credit from her, as this is one of her small businesses. We go to her home in Aringay each weekend to pick up the kilos of meat as our supply for the week to come. Always, while waiting for her to pack the meat, we would eat her leftover native snacks on their dining table: boiled kamote, corn, and 'malagkit' coated with caramelized brown sugar. She would run to the store of Nanang and ...

When people ask me for advice regarding their jobs, in any organization, I always say only three words: know your place. I have learned that intellect bears only half of one's success in any endeavor. The rest depend on relationships. I have seen people who were really nerds in school, graduated with honors, but failed miserably in their careers. Not that I am concluding I am successful now. The road to success, or whatever you might want to call it, is still a long one for me. But I have reached a point in my career where I can say I have achieved, I have done my best in what I love to do, and I am content. Not happy, mind you, content. Happiness is much more complex. Notwithstanding of course the concerns I have to deal with everyday, I am fine with my job now. I guess.  I write about this now because I had two interesting conversations yesterday with two people close to my heart. One of my mentors, one who helped me in this career, called to say he was visiting Vigan and he want...

Now I am not a travel blogger, or a food blogger, I simply blog about whatever I feel worth sharing. So this is City Cup Cafe in Laoag City. The coffee, salad, pasta were nice, just right. I was in awe of the root beer bottle so I took it home (and ordered another, just for the bottle, hehehe). Aaand the place was quaint. It was designed to fuse the old and the new, just like any typical resto in the North. But this place made use of recycled steel roof, metal drums, palettes, and what-not, and the effect was beautiful.

The last two days were stressful and hectic, well more than the usual. I should stop complaining after more than two decades of this job.  I am not, actually. I am being insightful. Yes, that's the word I choose to use, when in fact I know deep inside me I am complaining, I am whining, and I am disturbed. So almost always, I say, I can measure the truth in a person's character when in crisis. The way people react when burdened, pushed against the wall, exacted accountability from. In trying times, I see the hundred ways how people are taking it all in:  the eyes move in all directions except straight;  the eyelids battle the tears threatening to fall;  the fake smiles appear in cosmetic fashion;  the lips purse downwards;  the hands grope at the nearest drop of sweat;  my smokes disappear as suddenly one of my colleagues decided to be a chain-smoker;  mouths curl in resigned grins; dimples show in amusement;  quiet and calm displayed by some ...