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Showing posts from November, 2017

Govergence in Bacolod City

‘Govergence’ in Bacolod Each year, we grow in number. And each year, we all grow as people, working for this nation which seem to  be divided not only by the waters of its  islands but by vision. Yet I see this diversity among us, as something worthy. More than the opportunity to practice stretching patience to the limits, diversity provides us a platform to meld all colors into a giant rainbow. The gathering of all career service officers in Bacolod City has once again reinforced my belief that no matter how our brains are all clogged with the demands of our work, we can step back and breathe. We are given the privilege to hold hands, hug, talk with our mouths full, with and to our colleagues without judgement. We take in shared knowledge and rich experiences, all eager to listen and much more, to speak. To talk about the million things a development manager in government has in mind, with people who will understand. Some may appear to refuse to open their eyes and ears t...

The Power Of Words

Having hit the ‘like’ button on the page ‘Goalcast’, every now and then I stumble upon the most powerful and meaningful talks and speeches ever given from all parts of the world. Messages on women’s rights, failure, loss, defeat, dreams, aspirations, experiences, from different perspectives and viewpoints of race and culture; all are a delight to watch. I learn new things, and my beliefs on some issues of humanity are either reinforced or challenged. Each night, I watch videos of adorable pet dogs, to compensate for the absence of our Winky, and ocassionaly after, a video of the page ‘Goalcast’ would appear in my newsfeed. It is a breath of fresh air to listen once in a while rather than do the talking. I often do the talking in my line of work, plenty of talking. Last night, I stumbled upon a talk on the power of words spoken. The speaker (his name escapes me) said something so true: that the choice of words is equally important with how these are said. One may use the proper word...

Give Unto Caesar

The phrase, “..Give unto Caeser what is due Caesar..” is written in the bible as : ‘Render unto Caesar the things that are due Caesar’s’ “, in Matthew 22:21. The phrase was quoted to describe what Jesus Christ felt about the Jews paying taxes to the Romans. Interpretations through the years of this phrase are varied but the common ground I found in all the readings is this: give what is “just and equitable, and he ought to have his right” (Commentary by John Gill). The word “just” is defined by the dictionary as “based on or behaving according to what is morally-right and fair”; and the word “equitable”, according to Merriam-Webster, is “dealing fairly and equally with all concerned”. These come to mind today because I seem to view things from a different perspective, upon learning that this phrase “...Give unto Ceasar what is due..” came from the mouths of those whom are speaking of that “root of all evil”, money. First of all, I find it disdainful to speak of money in the same ...

Beach Bum

Beach Bum L. U. Foodpark (My daughter Ana’s treat😘) San Juan, La Union started to be on the map a few years back as the ‘surfing capital of the north’. The thing I like about that is the idea of ‘surfing’ in a small province like La Union may seemed to be absurd for some, but the steady increase in influx of local tourists proves it is not.  And so aside from cozy, little resorts built one after the other to accomodate tourists, small food businesses grew in number. Competition was not so fierce initially, these days, it has become that. For a while, only a few coffee shops and the like opened their doors to tourists, and were able to offer their services for prices steeper than the normal. After all, what choice did the tourists have? So even the locals who wanted to experience something ‘new’ could not afford to eat in any of the shops. Family bonding to us means eating out. Not splurging, but we have the most interesting and funny conversations over food. Naturally, we hav...

Oct29 In Caba, La Union

October 29, 2017 in Caba, La Union I put the palms of my hand on the marble wall, like pushing it, at the sides where Papa’s name was etched in black. It was cold, that wall, on a hot and humid day, which gave a sense of relief to me. I whispered, ‘I miss you, Papa’, in between deep breaths as I climbed up the hilly slope of our public cemetery. Papa and his family rested on a place where a full view of our town can be seen, and that Caba sunset. Even from their resting place, they sit atop a hill, witness to God’s everyday miracles. I have not been ‘up’ in a while, it was difficult to reach the area for someone overweight and who  abhors exercise. Aside from the fact that a snake or some other creature may suddenly decide to find out how a foot tastes like. This year, I decided to climb because I had dreams of me and my palms on that marble wall but the paint which was used to carve out ‘Edgar P. Castillejos’ was fading. Perhaps Papa was telling me I had to go ‘up’ and fix it....

Kriska Castillejos Once Again

Quite happy now that she has found her balance. All of us siblings have struggled through many issues in our lives, but the first three of us among ‘Edgar’s children’ wade and deal with them, always her, our youngest, thought of. She has always been the baby, having been born twelve years after our youngest then, Maevic. The birth of Kriska was looked at by all of us as joyous, save for Maevic, who was used to being the youngest. Maevic tells us of this story of her not caring about Kriska when she was brought home from the hospital. In fact, I think now that the time when Maevic brushed Kriska’s hair with her new baby hairbrush and pulled out all of the hair from her tiny head, she probably was fighting the urge to put a pillow on her mouth. But anyway. Kriska is Kriska. She swings from extreme happiness to desperate sadness within a minute. Her cackles would be overtaken by her sharp tongue in seconds, one would think ‘..what the?..’ She has the flair for the theatrics, (pinaganda ...

Rey And Jasmin

They were seated near us in church, Rey, Jasmin, Rem and his wife. I honestly do not know how to address them properly, Ninong?, Ninang?. They are our godparents on our wedding, as they are the closest non-politicians my parents had as friends when Papa was no longer Mayor in Caba. They are both young, Rey and Jasmin, and to my mind, they are also our friends more than our godparents. Perhaps because All Souls’ Day is approaching, or Papa’s death anniversary is on the 19th of November, but I felt so sentimental when I saw them. I have not seen Ninang Jasmin in ages although Ninong Rey, I meet once in a while, only exchanging pleasantries. They are the couple from whom I learned much, about kindness and friendships. I remember Mama and Ninang Jasmin started to be friends only by chance, through BHF (Balingit Home Furnishings) the business that this young couple established way back here in La Union. Then they became close; Mama found a confidante and a friend not in any way connecte...

That Dreadful EO366

THAT DREADFUL EO366 I am quite upset now. With myself, more than the others who allowed this to happen to our colleagues. More than four years of waiting to be appointed to their permanent position-items, they have yet to wait longer. To me, this is most unfair. Especially in my province, when the people who have worked their butt off for so many years to better the lives of our farmers, are the ones affected. I look back at the past four years, and  try to put some sense into what we have done. I say, ‘we’, because I am part of the management which saw through the processes which we were directed to by the bosses, to implement this dreadful EO366, or the government’s rationalization plan. Simply put, the executive order speaks of downsizing of government personnel; that it  is imperative to ‘let go’ of some of its people as there are positions in all departments which are redundant, or no longer serve the purpose for which these were created in present times. Our governme...

Jethro Rests

My colleagues, my friends in Ilocos Sur, Today, I will ask, once again. Not for myself but for Jethro, my son’s friend, who passed away last night, from complications of cancer after years of a courageous battle. I wrote about him on the day I met him, and was overwhelmed by this young man’s strength. After many read my blog about Jethro, I learned plenty about him: that he continued to go to school despite his chemo sessions, and was absent only when the chemo was actually administered; that he took the mini-bus from Aringay to San Fernando everyday (about 45 minutes travel) to get to school, in crutches, but was always on time; that he carried CPUs on his own (he was taking IT); and more. He did not know me personally. The only conversation I had with him was when I told him I was proud of him, and had our picture taken together. But I know that you all will understand, after four years of having known me, how I always try to be of help to others through the generosity of my frie...

Xander Ford

I will give this guy attention as he needs it. Not like it matters to him now, but here goes: 1. People who are born ‘ugly’ should be more accepting of who they are. Personally, I do not like plastic surgery or any invasive procedure to change how I look, mainly because I cannot afford it, and  I am not as healthy as to endure whatever the post-procedure will entail. 2. I look  at the mirror nowadays and the wrinkles are starting to be more pronounced; my freckles are threatening to merge in one large spot which will make me look I was punched in the face; my cheeks are sagging; there are lines at the sides of my nose; my eyebags have not become three layers instead of the formerly two. A friend not so tactfully told me once that my posts on facebook at times are so ‘close-up’ with all the weariness on my face showing. She said that like it was a bad thing to show people how you really look like. That made me squirm a bit. Ok, turned-off with her actually. I assumed there ...

Ana’s 24th

‘Choose to be the better person, Mom.’, she told me over the weekend. We have one of those lovely conversations every so often, in bed, whiling away the afternoon. I live in my bedroom nowaways. Nothing seem to soothe me more than the smell of my sweat on the bedsheets, a whiff of cigarette smoke in my hair, the scent of my daughter’s breath while sleeping soundly beside me, the feel of my son’s long legs which barely fit in the bedframe. It is worse now after I got sick, my bed became my refuge for recovery. I was again talking to Ana about people at work, and about people in my life, in general. I was telling her about how others in my life seem to be ‘winning’ at everything even if most of them do not have a bone of good faith in their bodies. In so many words, I told her it was unfair; that those who are indiscriminate, indecent and thrive on the miseries of others are those who live good lives. While the rest of us, who are most conscious of the ‘right-and-wrong’ as we value our f...

My First Grab Ride

So, as I told this story to my daughter while waiting for about 48 years of billing from the hospital for my discharge, I thought she would promptly call me 'loser'. This was about my very first...drumroll please...'Grab' cab ride ever. I was to show up at two appointments set up for me by a friend, and I could not miss them. The ride I expected to use was sent on an errand, so I had to go with 'Grab'. So I opened my app, pretended I knew how to work it for a few seconds, then gave it to the hotel staff, 'because their system could not locate Seda Vertis?'. They handed me back my phone with their lovely smiles and told me to sit and wait as my cab was arriving in a few. My heart was pounding. I have never, ever, taken a cab ride on my own. So this was new and exciting. A few minutes later my cab arrived: I was to pay 211 pesos for him to take me to my destination. I told him, 'Kuya, I will give you plus 100 pesos if you take me there on time; 3...

I Will Die In Manila

Ana became slowly agitated when we were negotiating this narrow street somewhere in Pasay City, supposedly leading to the bus station for Baguio. It was so narrow, and makeshift stalls were put by vendors lining the streets. Our car wheels were literally by the street gutter. A traffic aide led us there which made Ana ask out loud when we were either about to do a hit-and-run of the kids running about/pedestrians walking in different directions or, we were about to crush the toes of the old man having his early morning coffee he apparently enjoys having by the pavement of a chaotic street: 'Akala yata nung traffic aide, Mama, naka-pedicab tayo.....at ano ba ang mga taong ito, hindi ba nila nakikita itong kotse? Invisible eto? Hindi man lang tumabi...ano ba?! Nearing our destination, she quipped, '...parang hindi na ako makahinga....'. The streets of Manila does that to you. It was my turn to hyperventilate when on our way back to province via EDSA, a boy in red tshirt...

Stage Mother

'I think that the purpose of mothers is to show her children how things ought to be done in this life...well in my case, not completely by example...but I guess you have seen enough to learn from the mistakes I made...', I told Ana, in yet again, another one of those short but important conversations. She nodded in agreement. She understood what I meant. I am grateful for much in this life, but not more than having children like Ana and Aidan. - thoughts of a 'stage mother' while waiting for her son at a parking lot Ana Isaiah Castillejos Suguitan, Aidan Suguitan

Badeen

For Nanay, Badeen. Virginia Verora, Virginia Verora My tears are 'pa-gets' in today's lingo. They show themselves rarely in everyday life, except for movies which touch my heart. I call them 'showbiz' tears, those which flow freely prompted by a well-written script or an actor's work genuinely played. I remember not crying when Papa died. I do not recall if it was because I had to keep them from falling so I could think clearly for the arrangements we would have to make, or if it was simply because my pain was so deep, my tears went in seclusion, as if to demand for privacy and respect. I cried during his funeral mass, that wretched day we finally said goodbye to Papa, whose soul lived on with the most admirable of men. Yesterday, I learned of the death of an old, good friend and mentor, Badeen, and I again found my tears buried deep. We were just 'talking' on facebook last month, on her birthday. I told her I learned a great deal from her not onl...

Tired of Self-Pity and Defeat

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Years ago, I was privileged to have been mentored and coached by consultants of the Food And Agriculture Organization on agri-marketing. Aris, the consultant who helped me largely with what I now know about it, always ended his lectures on the topic by telling the farmer-participants in the sessions we conducted with them using this line: 'So the basic rule that all of you must know in marketing your agri-produce is this: there are no rules out there.' By 'out there', he meant that world which our farmers almost always fail to recognize. There is life beyond farms, Aris would always tell them, but do all things in good faith and all will be fine. I think about that now, and I realize the same is true with life, in general.  The thing about good faith nowadays is that it does not sell any longer. Good faith is what losers in this world arm themselves with, and the winners are the shrewd, cruel, most often those who will compromise everything including their souls, j...

The War Between My Brain And My Heart In Ana’s Thoughts

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God is not the head of a 'wish-granting factory.' Or something like that.  This, from my 23-year-old Ana, during our late morning conversation over my coffee and smokes, and her Milo in-between morsels of popcorn and almonds. As usual, when we had the chance to talk on weekends, we went from trivial to deep, in extremes. At one point we would gossip about other people, then we would go to topics of old souls: life and all there is to it. I listened to her tell me yes, she prays each and every chance she gets, to our God and ask for guidance and strength, not just for her but for those she loves; and to say 'thank you' for all the blessings we have. 'I never ask Him to 'give me this or that', Mom.', she told me, because she believes in earning her keep. God will give you a chance, she says, and it is up to you as to how to spin that. I have seen in her this wisdom even when she was young. She never behaved like she was entitled to anything, and never...

Tired of Self-Pity and Defeat

Years ago, I was privileged to have been mentored and coached by consultants of the Food And Agriculture Organization on agri-marketing. Aris, the consultant who helped me largely with what I now know about it, always ended his lectures on the topic by telling the farmer-participants in the sessions we conducted with them using this line: 'So the basic rule that all of you must know in marketing your agri-produce is this: there are no rules out there.' By 'out there', he meant that world which our farmers almost always fail to recognize. There is life beyond farms, Aris would always tell them, but do all things in good faith and all will be fine. I think about that now, and I realize the same is true with life, in general. The thing about good faith nowadays is that it does not sell any longer. Good faith is what losers in this world arm themselves with, and the winners are the shrewd, cruel, most often those who will compromise everything including their souls, just ...