Random Thoughts: Lolo Panieng

Random Thoughts About My Life With Lolo Panieng And The Stuff I          Learned From Him

1. You show respect for your elders, wherever, whenever, regardless of whatever, by the 'mano'. 

2. When you plan to leave home on weekends, you tell Lolo Panieng and Lola Corazon, so they can have a car ready. Otherwise, you stay home. If you insist on taking the jeepney and tricycle, they will tell on you, and the Mayor will rush from Caba to Quezon City, take you to Pancake House and give you a sermon over syrup and butter on a tower of those lovely little round tastes of heaven. (So you all know what I would intentionally do when I craved for pancakes.)

3. Families eat meals together. (Lolo Narding must always be there when Lolo Panieng sits for dinner.)

4. Sundays are days of worship. No if's or but's. 

5. Learn at least one musical instrument. If you do not have interest in any instrument, then sing, my goodness. (He paid for eleven years of my piano lessons.)

6. Laughing around the dinner table is all right, as long as there is no food in your mouth. Laughing loudly is also all right as long as the neighbors do not wake up. 

7. Be intelligent, at least enough to get his jokes. 

8. Read the newspaper everyday. You do not need to like what you read, just read. Everyday. 

9. Spell words correctly. If you are unsure, there is a dictionary. (I spelled 'privelege' that way in my very first job application letter. He read the letter, put it down, then asked me to get a dictionary and look up the correct spelling of the word.)

10. Write everything down. Reminders, your thoughts, etc. It is very helpful. (And so, obviously, I write. Crazy write.)

11. Do not let Lola Corazon chew the food for you at breakfast, it is enough that she already peeled off the skin of the shrimps and put it in your mouth. (I was always half-asleep at breakfast in high school. All Lolo had to do was give me 'the look' across the table, and the blood in my veins would suddenly jerk me awake.)

12. Be quiet in the car on the way home, unless he talks to you. Otherwise, he is still thinking of work, and you will disturb his train of thoughts. But breathing is allowed. 

13. You study hard, so you can have a decent life.

14. You work hard, so you can have a better life.

15. You work harder, so you can have an honorable life.

16. You work you butt off, so you can have a life of dignity. And a bunch of enemies. But, you shrug them off. (So he did, and on top of that, went on to write several books on tobacco in the North, and got them published.) 

17. Never forget your beginnings. 

18. Never burn bridges.

19. Never help, if you only expect something in return. Help, and help and help others, until you can. Until you are annoyed. Until tears threaten to fall each time the same person asks for help over and over again. Help.

20. You eat those tiny, elongated shells, cooked by Nang Ingkay with ginger broth, by sucking on the thing. You do not tap them on the edge of your plates to get the meat out. 

21. You use a toothpick to get the meat out of 'kuhol', you do not attempt to crush the shell to pieces with your water glass. (Of course I tried. Of course he gave me the look across the table.)

22. You speak in a low, authoritative voice. Yelling is not acceptable. (He punctuated his sentences with those adorable dimples.) 

23. There was a reason why a service lift was installed for food at home. So when you hear it outside your door, get off the bed and get the food from the tray. Do not wait for Nang Ingkay to go up the stairs, get the food, and hand it to you. Spoiling has its limits. 

24. If you want to be in the high school volleyball varsity team, you tell Lolo Panieng. You need not even try to hit the ball, he will buy all the uniforms for the team. You're in. (That one, I had to course through Auntie Baby.)

25. You can use the car, the driver, pay for all costumes, as long as you are in the Glee Club. But make sure Lola Corazon gets choice seats in the shows, and goes home proud, not humiliated. (Whatever your passion was, at a certain point, he always supported. No questions asked.)

26. 'If You Are But A Dream' is the song everyone in the family must know.

27. Humility is the greatest virtue. 

28. Endure all in silence. Sadness, like all things, will pass. Let everyone else shoot their mouths off. (That, I again, obviously, did not learn very well.)

29. You can only jump in their bed if your feet are clean. And if you just took a bath. (It was difficult to hug both of them when you know you stink, because they both always smelled good. Even in mid-day. In summer.)

30. Parents, and grandparents love you, in their own ways, in many different, conflicting, confusing, forms. But they love you, that is the only thing that matters.

31. Do not give your children, (Lolo Panieng's grandchildren and great grandchildren) weird names like Iana (Ana Isaiah) or Iah (Jeremiah). It confused Lola Corazon, and Lolo Panieng did not want that. 

32. Be kind. 

33. He did not insist that you be someone like him. But you will try your hardest, because you want him to be proud of you. 

34. When he comes to visit your own home, you get everything cleaned. When dust settled somewhere, Lola Corazon would have a cleaning cloth from somewhere, like magic, and start wiping the dust off. While Lolo Panieng is discussing something important with the Mayor. And he will be distracted. ('Unay met ni Corazon-en aya....')

35. Be on time. When you say you will be in a commitment somewhere, be there. On time. (I need not say if I followed in his footsteps, or not.)

36. Everything begins only if you take chances. Everything also had endings. But you take all given you in life by God, and be thankful. All the time.