Nothing Changed

Nothing changed. We all gained weight, except for Bella who is thin as a stick compared to me, but we all basically looked the same. Our faces are etched now with the lines drawn by years of struggle and overcoming, then of being at our happy places. I am certain we all have imperfect lives, but we came together one night after years of just 'seeing' each other on facebook, as arranged by the pleasantly persistent 'kabsat' Bella. 

Doc Cherry slept through the appointed time before dinner, and Bella & Manang Maribel were panicking. They were supposed to fetch Manang Au along the way. Bella sent me a text saying that, and I think she read my mind because before I was to reply to her to tell her go see Cherry at their home, they were on their way. The doctor in the gang was so tired from her medical mission (she comes home from the states to do this each year). She took a nap for a few minutes, she told us, and ended up not waking up on time. So anyway, we met past dinner time at the most familiar place for all of us. I came in fashionably late, with my red lipstick painted all over me I felt like my teeth were of the same color. I needed to look good, at least from my neck up. 

We went somewhere else for dinner, where we were the food on the buffet looked tasteless. Which was the same to where we moved, but nonetheless we elected to stay because we wanted to spend the time catching up anyway. So it was all nice talk at first: on the way, Manang Au and I were whispering about some private subject, and we did so complete with the 'kuldit' on each other's laps. Manang Maribel came home to La Union with her bro, Alex, just for the dinner date and we were all touched. Bella was her usual quiet self, and well, Doc Cherry was not quiet at all, like I was. Otherwise, we were not our 'selves'.

I was envious of Manang Au and her grandkids, I miss babies in the house. Her phone wallpaper is a picture of two lovely kids. She married her boyfriend we all connived to hide from her forever-strict folks. If Auntie Lilia knew then what we were up to, we would have been spanked with a ruler. She was a public school teacher, and the toughest of them all. Manang Maribel spoke in this soft tone as she always has, of being her own boss now, after years of working so hard to give her family a better life than she had. We always knew she was the one who would do that, the woman is selfless. Bella is now working in a Chinese school, where rich kids go to. She still has that smile which seemed permanent. She always had a sunny disposition, that at times I intentionally pick a fight with her on facebook about politics and stuff, just to see if she now has the guts to be upset, at the very least. She does not get affected at all. Well, if she is still a friend of 'Christianne' after decades, she is indeed a very kind and patient person. And Doc Cherry, the most straightforward, candid, outspoken of us, (yes, more than I am), even when her eyes were drooping to close, made us all laugh at her stories and her fight with an illness. The fact that we were all laughing about it says just about what is admirable about her, her strength and fortitude.

Of course when it was my turn, I took a deep breath and told myself to temper my angst just a bit. I thought it would take a lot of me to be collected about my life stories when I started telling them. Yet I was surprised at myself: I was so calm, and so at peace with what I was saying that all of them understood where I was coming from. Oh, they all know my story, and they were all there to witness what has been and what is. They were, in fact, major characters in the earliest 'acts' in the play called my life. Then I realized, I was in front of the four people in my life who needed no prelude for my stories, they were there in the stories. They all listened, their eyes meeting mine, their one-liners, their smiles: without uttering the words 'we love you, you know', I felt that.

I was told that, whispered to my ear while wrapped in this tight embrace, Doc Cherry did as we said our 'bye's'. After that night, I had no doubt she does. I have no doubt about Bella, Manang Au and Maribel, too. I never thought friendships like these existed in the real world, the kind that spans decades, made challenging by distance, yet the tensil strength of the bond seem to be fed by time and space that it just would not break. Thank goodness for people like them in my life. I went home breathless, so much like having been let go from a huge bear-hug. 

I love you, all, Tutu Adriano, Cherry Maglaya Lee, Aurea de Vera, Mabel Runes!