Weakling

Where his sincere smiles were once, his lips settle to smirks. From where he spoke so softly and decently once upon a time, now sarcasm and arrogance is let out profusely.

Conversations, which straddled between trivial and deep, over coffee and pizza, now replaced with silence, tense and awkward, words barely exchanged. His heart, which broke into pieces from the blatant disrespect of a wife, put itself back together built upon blood running through it no longer warm.

We walked the road, anywhere it led, beside him, more than what was expected from colleagues. Honesty, thoughtfulness, laughter, were some of those we experienced together.Friendships strengthened by ipad covers, luggages and 'barong tagalog'. 

We were friends, or so I thought.

These days make be beyond sad, disappointed, frustrated. Seeing him and how he 'is' now surfaces this mix of  anger, pity and even surprise. I ran these thoughts through my mind last night and sought to find the answer to my 'why?' I asked myself from which he draws the temerity now after all, to be this obnoxious being he has become. Perhaps it is the power he now enjoys, seemingly bolsted by the absence of loyalty and the presence of political goodwill, unrealistic, really but he seems to cling to that. Maybe he became too tired fighting for his place in his family's life and had to put up this facade of being 'in-charge'. You see, I am trying very hard to reason with myself, defend him in my psyche, when in the end, the answer is simply he is too weak to hold his own.