Sarcasm

Got an insane dose of sarcasm yesterday, and from whom it came and why, I was quite taken aback. It came from a seemingly conservative and reserved person, the one you would know did not speak any four-letter-word or expletives. A nice-enough human being, you know, the kind you would feel embarrasssed to boss around because you have regard for her age and grace, even if you are actually 'the boss'. The 'why' part is also surprising because even those who know her for more years than I have, do not comprehend what is going on nowadays, and they, too are clueless as to why a monster is slowly emerging from this apparently sweet soul. 

The creepy thing about it is that she did her  'Devil-Wears-Prada' version so effortless, with me at that, I was looking into her eyes trying to search for a bit of reason there, I could not find any. And the stuff coming out of her mouth? She was so rudely direct, oozing with sarcasm and anger that I was tempted to let out a crucifix and drive the evil spirits taking over her. Makes me wonder if that was really her talking, or just her with some heavy burden she is carrying. Alone. So alone that she vents her frustration on everyone and everything her way.

I think about this incident now and I am discerning if I deserved to be a recipient  of the bile coming out of her. Maybe I am. Maybe I have pushed too hard, too often, too soon, that I squeezed all patience left in her. You know the times when you want to vomit but ate nothing before, so the reflex in your diaphragm would still pull the bile out of your innards? Maybe that was already showing. So I sat there, listening, trying to discuss as best as possible the concerns at hand, laying down alternatives,  but to no avail. For every rational explanation I made, she had a biting retort. 

So I stopped the discussion. I cut short the opportunity of us both to say more than necessary. She sensed that. She stood and left, still called me 'Ma'am' but at that point, it no longer meant anything to me. I lit a cigarette and looked out the window. I said a prayer of thanks, for that long fifteen minutes or so, I felt so stupid yet more fortunate than ever. For I do not have her life. I have mine, even with all its ugliness I emerge the decent one. I should not have allowed her to do that to me, regardless. Regardless. Whatever the circumstances, the biting, bitter and may I say arrogant words will not ever be acceptable to me. I have always said, kindness is a weapon I use to win over those dark souls. This time, that kindness, will have to be tempered with dignity. That, she no longer has, not from where I am sitting.