Leonelle

She hid her face under the blankets, trying to muffle the sound of her clogged nose where her tears started to drip. The scene in the movie we were watching involved characters in a love triangle, an extra-marital affair where the couple's children were dragged into the mess. I was in tears, too, but I was not embarrassed to show her. I cry over sad movies, and that's that. 

I started to laugh at her, the way she was cowering, and she laughed at herself, too. She told me, she really gets touched with stories which involved children, especially so when these children's emotions are compromised. She has two neices and two nephews, one recently said hello to the world. And I guess that is where she draws these feelings from. She is like these kids' second mother, and reared them together with her other sisters. 

She is single at 50. By choice, I would say. She devoted most of her time to taking care of Honey Leoning, their family's martriarch, and her neices and nephew (s). When I came into the scene, I became an addition to one of those she took care of. Which is equivalent to about three difficult-to-deal-with type of people. Yes, I am that much of a burden, that at times, I know she just cries secretly of all the frustrations with me, and Honey Leoning.

That is all she does, really, when she is upset. She cries. At certain times, she allows herself to talk and rant, and when she does, no door or window can muffle the sound in the compound where we live. Oh she tries to keep it as quiet as she could, but I could hear her at the top of her lungs, shrieking about one thing or another in Ilocano spoken faster than anyone I have ever heard. She manages to make her sisters and Honey Leoning cry, too. Make no mistake about it. She will not take anything she finds 'off' sitting down. She and her sisters were raised by the strict and conservative Honey Leoning, mostly, and one can understand what upsets her. She is not scared of anything or anyone, except for their eldest, Manang Myrna. She holds Manang Myrna with deepest respect, that any of her major decisions are made in consultation with her eldest sister.

She is one with a happy disposition, though. She laughs, she smiles, she treads through her work as patiently as she could, she lives a quiet, peaceful life. Of course that peaceful life is disturbed by problems of others she loves dearly, and she imbibes all that disappointment and sadness. She commiserates. She allows empathy to envelope her, then she helps, and helps, in any way she can.

She is overflowing with empathy, Leonelle. Her life's experiences has taught her that living is not only for the self, but for others, too. I see the way others take advantage of her and at times, I feel guilty that I may have done the same to her at one time or another. But regardless, she bears no grudge. She is not one who forgives and does not forget. 

There are times we do not see things on the same plane. One unacceptable thing to me, may be forgiven by her; or the other way around. Yet the past three years, we have had an uneventful relationship. There is always a way that we 'fix' stuff between us before it is blown out of proportion. She is that way with her family and her friends. From her heart, she chooses to see the good in all, and does not search for that which is bad and evil. 

Lately, Honey Leoning passed away. Less than a year before Leonelle would celebrate her 50th birthday. Leonelle made it clear to us that she did not want a big celebration, no parties, but she only wished for a simple get-together of family and friends. She told me, she did not feel right about celebrating, only after a few months of Honey's passing. She is still grieving, without her telling me. I realize that she misses Honey Leoning more than any one among us, because she was with her most of her twilight years. Honey was the reason for her to wake up early, to cook breakfast and lunch; and to go home early from the office, so that Honey would have someone to eat dinner with. For the longest time, Honey was her life's purpose. Then suddenly, Honey was gone. 

I can only imagine the desperation Leonelle felt a few weeks after Honey's passing. There was no one she woke up for, no one to go home to.  The kids, who are the lights of their lives gave her the hope and inspiration to go on living. Many would surmise, Leonelle should start enjoying her freedom now. I recall telling her, I know that Honey would have wanted her to start her own life now. Yet she told me, she cannot live a meaningful life without the kids, without her sisters, without her friends.

Somehow, I expected that reply from her. She is made up of stern stuff, this woman, yet laced with the tenderness of love for those she values in her life. Not many are created by God the way Leonelle is. And to have her as my colleague, my friend, and my sister, is nothing short of an honor. 

Happy Birthday (way too early) Leonelle Benelyn Redoloso.