My Son Taught Me How To Be A Mom

Unlike his 'Ate', who was born to a life of milk in boxes and noodles which was all we could afford at that time, Aidan came into this world 'expensive'. It was a difficult pregnancy, and unexpected, so from the time he was in my womb, we put all our resources to 'growing' him well. Needless to say, the hospital bill hit the roof at my c-section to birth him. After, he had to endure a series of tests with a pedia-ophthalmologist, and consequently, an eye operation at 5 years old. He had his second major eye operation just last year. He loved toys, so that again, made him expensive. Hotwheels, Matchbox, Zoids, Predators. But he also loved clay, in fairness to him. And he started to read the encyclopedia at three. Plus it was not just all Cartoon Network or endless discs of Looney Tunes, he was a National Geographic channel kind of kid. 

I do not remember how he came to speak English so well, with an accent of the 'sosyal'. I still have videos of him repeating lines from Ice Age, complete with the animation there is in the movie, with his teeny-weeny voice. I also keep thinking as I write how he came to be so smart in science, explaining to me the parts of animals' bodies, for example, and what they eat, what other animal they can fight with, or which animal is not scared of snakes. He had a thing for snakes, gators and crocs, such that his toy box was full of replicas, from the cute forms to the near-realistic, which made his Tita Beks vomit, and his Tita Kring scared out of her wits. 

He grew up to be a tall, lanky fellow, forever 'my kawayan' as one his friends calls him. His voice is deeper now, and yes, he is starting to grow facial hair. Slowly, edges are sculpting his face,  making him look like, sigh, a grown-up. He still speaks English with the same accent, still has the fascination for science (he is all excited about the movie on Stephen Hawking's life, 'The Theory of Everything) and wears eyeglasses like a regular nerd. But now, he is a teen, and that is showing. I am glad, really. That he now wakes up early for school because he hates to be late. That he comes home fashionably late, too. That he falls asleep halfway through taking his pants off to change into shorts because school got him so tired. That he wakes up middle of the night to work on his assignment because he wants peace and quiet when he works. That he multi-tasks, on the tablet in a group discussion (ok, chat) while playing his guitar or the ukelele, and Winky. He loves Winky so much that he almost strangled him to death hugging him too tight one time that Winky made this most uncomfortable sound, gasping for air. He engages in conversation, deep, serious ones he has with me, late at night. Or often with Tita Beks, still deep, serious ones, although with Beks, laughter is a main thing. 

He is a sweet boy, 'malambing' , not conscious about hugging and kissing us even in public. (Tita Kring at times asks him for a kiss at random times and he obliges). He is a sensitive one, too, and I am afraid he got my mermaid-like thinking. He prays, he tells me he always thanks God for everything, first and foremost in his prayers. He is caring,  the type who would ask you if you are ok about a million times a day. He likes this girl whom he describes as 'a lot like Ate', which makes me feel 'aaaawww'. He has a temper, too, and at times I wish there were anger management classes in La Union (joke) yet he is quick to apologize when he is wrong. He is generous with others, shares what he can, and does  not like people who do not give a rat's ass about other people's feelings. He plays the guitar so well, his Ate and I are surprised when we hear him play one of his self-taught pieces. I bought him a ukelele lately, of course he taught himself to play it. He has a love affair with his android phone, aaannnd Steve Jobs (lethal combination). He is into Seth McFarlane scripts, he gets a kick out of his wit and sarcasm.

These days, he is more circumspect, prudent, less 'expensive'. He makes do with what is there, and does not ask for extra money. Never. Even when he has a lot to buy for his projects in school. One time, he was giving me back his weekend allowance (I make sure he has food money for the weekend lest he would be unable to visit his second home-McDonalds), and told me, 'Mom, I have too much money'. Really? 

I started writing this by the word 'expensive' because I realize that nothing of that sort can be described by having a son like Aidan. While other parents see what they spend on their kids as 'investment' (with all due respect to their brand of parenthood), with Aidan, the use of the word is an insult  really. I thrive in giving him all that I can, perhaps to 'overcompensate' for my absence in his life and to atone for the sins I have done to hurt him. But beyond that, I do that because he is worth it all. Moreso because he says, 'leave it be' amidst all the issues there are in our life. He walks each day with his head held high, regardless. I called him 'my little boy' for the longest time, but now he no longer is. Tita Maan told me once, 'Aidan is not a little boy anymore. He does not run to meet and kiss me like he used to when he sees me.' I told Aidan that, to which he replied, 'I still go up to her and kiss her, Mom, I just don't run to her now'. Well, Tita Maan would probably keel over if he literally ran to her like he used to, given that he is taller than she is now. He is my son, not the one who ran after my official vehicle when I go home and one who could not wait for me to scoop him into my arms. But he is the son who would plant a kiss on my forehead, who would hug me often with his long arms around my neck until I am breathless. He is my son,  who taught me what it means to be 'Mom'. Who taught me, how to grow up, how to hold my head high, what love and life is all about.