Random Thoughts About Me and My Work

I remember the question very well: 'How do you know that a barangay is poor just by looking around?', a speaker asked us. We were all being trained for community organizing, to better prepare us for the work on the ground. Many attempted to give him intelligent answers. I did not say a thing. I was thinking deeply, bent on giving the most impressive answer. Until the speaker said, 'look at the dogs'. Ok, what the? Dogs? Then he proceeded to explain that usually, dogs under the care of families who have more than enough, are fed better, hence, not looking skin-and-bones. The poor families have barely enough to eat, thus, their dogs are not fed well. That made sense. 

I recall this today because through the years in rural development, I still use that as a measure when I go to the barangays. Of course, my first impression of a good and not-good life is validated by several other things I see: there are less beautiful, young women. They all venture off to seek for a better life in Manila, or elsewhere, only to end up as God-knows-what in the hands of the greedy. The 'washrooms' are literally that, I pee below the kitchen sink. The other call of nature will nave to done in between tall grasses, or that lone 'comfort room' provided by the local government, for all. 

Anyway, I have seen the worst of it all, or I presume to have. The bottomline to me, however, is that the poor, lacking in basic needs, are really poor because of the lack of choice. They live in resignation of what is there, and do no have the means to seek further. They were born to a poor life, so they will die poor. Our goal in public sector is to give them choices, at the very least. Easier said than done, I will need research, theories, development frameworks, etc to back my claim (my years in agrarian reform gained me experiences I cannot discuss technically, sorry). I can only tell my anecdotes, which of course, is unacceptable. 

So it seems to me that even in our own lives, no matter how well-off we may be in satisfying material wants, each day we are faced with the dilemma of searching for that one choice we do not or cannot afford to have. Lack of choice. The difference  between us, and the poor in the barangays, however, is that one thing: the yearning for more. While they wallow in the miseries there are in their lives resigned, we drown in despair for more. Resignation.  Contenment. Two feelings so extreme from one to another. And thinking about it, I am poor, more than those I serve. At least they live each day simply in peace. When I, on the other hand, let trivial excess baggages disturb me. I will remain to be poorer than they are, until I know better.