'Putang Ina'

At first, the whole idea was exciting. Like a hero straight from the movies, he came to life and gave the 'outlaws' what they deserved. As far as he is concerned, he did what needed to be done to keep his constituents, the visitors to his place, well and safe. I walked their streets late at night, taking my time, withdrew money from ATMs, rode cabs alone, many times, and I am still in one piece today. It is admirable, the fact that this peace and order can be achieved somehow, somewhere, in a country plagued by this wretched poverty and desperation. Moreso that the dynamics in this economy play to spur the disparity between the rich and the poor; the longer the stretch from one side to the other, the deeper the roots of evil, the more plausible the reasons for criminality. 

Interesting, too, that people reached out to him to run for the highest post in the land, and he was realistic enough to say, no, this country does not need him. Until the Senate Electoral Tribunal decided on the much- talked-about disqualification case of the incumbent Senator. After that decision, all went ballistic. I will now run, he implied, if only to underscore the fact that the next President must be true-blue Filipino, in heart and mind. 

I am in awe of his courage, no matter how misplaced it is, as I see it, in this society of laws. His will to put people in their 'proper' place as he sees fit, with his understanding of the law and how it works, his bravery to stand up for those who are suffering, the aggrieved, the unfairly treated. All these make up the man he is, and we, Filipinos, love heroes. We siIently applaud his  oh so stern stance on criminals, and smokers (like me). I, for one, feel like one of the stray cats he must have rescued at a certain point in my past life, that I am struck by the person he is. Yet last night, I felt violated. He cursed the Pope. Because of traffic. His statements now on the media are somewhere along the lines of: he was taken out of context; he is apologetic that his statements were misconstrued to be directed at the Pope; he was only lamenting the suffering of people. 

So, all right then. As easy as the curses came out of his mouth, were his apologies, his explanation. Others say that Catholics are a sensitive and hypocritical lot, that it should be no biggie. 'Putang Ina' is just something that naturally comes out of people's mouths in normal conversations, they say. Like trinkets on a Christmas Tree. You know, decors to 'facelift' a conversation, a speech, to make it more witty, funny, and attention-drawing. I am actually fine with that, goodness, I also say the two words, awkwardly though because I curse in Ilocano. Tagalog is not my thing. 

But to curse, to express frustration, disappointment, anger, distress, whatever one may be feeling at a certain point in public, at the expense of someone who is revered and respected by virtue of faith, to me, (with emphasis on 'me') is unacceptable. Especially when you plan to be President. Oh, some would say, better that than those who 'act' respectful in return for votes. Actually, none is better than the other. I am a believer of what-you-see-is-what-you-get, and that has gotten me into a lot of trouble. I have also tried to exude a persona befitting my position, yet I am still mocked. That is perhaps one reason why I like this guy. We are sort of alike, well, only in that sense. 

Where do I go from here on, if I were in his shoes (which is the part most unlikely as I do not have his balls, physically and what-not; and I am not a lawyer, seriously). I go where my conscience directs me.  I go where I earn and bestow respect. I go where I am able to be the person I am, yet know in my being that I respect myself. I go where any human being born in this world is gifted with: the sense of right and wrong, the kind which was not taught but rather the kind which one  carries in the heart. Whether Catholic or Muslim, whatever faith one has, when one sees an old lady who can barely cross a street and about to be struck by a speeding car, what does one do but to run and help the old lady, right?  Not taught. But one does it because it is what one's soul, one's  heart, or whatever it is in us, wills us to do as the right thing. Cursing, that is definitely one,  not in that category. Candidate or not. The Pope was so generous and immediate with his reaction: no apologies necessary, the man's honesty is appreciated. 

I remain hopeful. For him, this nation, and for what is ahead. I look to the future with a prayer that the Supreme Being out there, whatever we all call him, will show all of us the way. All I really wish for, is to have the wisdom to choose wisely in 2016, no longer for myself, but for the nation where my children will raise families of their own.