'Thank You's and Memories'

He came up to me, this old man, dressed neatly in red polo-shirt tucked in cream slacks. We were in a queue, heads of agencies which were to receive an award from a partner agency for our successful engagements. He thrust out his hand and gave me a firm handshake, firmer than one would expect from a man his age. He said, 'Ma'am, how are you?' . I was trying to place him, I knew him from somewhere, I was sure about that. But as usual, I could not remember his name. Thank God for registration IDs. I casually glanced on the name printed on his, and checked where he is from. He is from a cooperative in a province I served for six years before I was assigned to my present area. Slowly it came back to me, he is a manager of one of the organizations we helped build a small enterprise. So after the obligatory smile, handshake, and reply of, 'I am fine, Tatang, thank you for asking.', I asked how their business was going. He said they are doing all right, despite of challenges. But they are thankful, he told me, for people like me, who helped them and never stopped believing. I became suddenly sentimental. My colleague with me was smiling and looking at me, so I stopped to tears and commanded them to stay down my throat. 

Before that, I was greeted by two women I also had the privilege of working with from the same province. They pointed out, as tactful as they could, that I was 'sexier' then when I worked with them farther north. Which is actually the same as saying, 'you are fat, now.' They told me they saw me on the video clip shown earlier, and said I am still as lovely as ever. Of course that was to make up for the earlier statement about my weight, so I replied in jest, 'yes, manang, I think it is best that you look at only my face now, no lower than that.' We all had a good laugh.

I am thankful for moments like those in my life, those random times I am acknowledged, and complimented by a simple handshake, a smile, and a 'thank you'. I have always thought that public service is a thankless job, you do your job, they say, 'well, she should.' You do better, they say, 'she is self-involved, she just wants a promotion.' You do your best, and they say, 'she is OA.' Maybe I am. OA, in that sense. After we received our award, my colleague ushered me out of the venue as I was to go to another meeting. On the way out, we passed by a table of women who are members of some organizations we are helping out now. They asked  permission if they could take another member with them to this learning experience they were scheduled to go to next week. If there was an extra seat in the bus? I immediately replied, 'take my seat'. My colleague wanted to protest, but she knew me better. We left with the women on that table happy. 

Walking out, my colleague told me, 'you just give and give. helping until nothing is left of you.' I told her, 'not really. I simply have had so many opportunities already, I give others their chance.'

Which is really the truth. And I was taught not to expect anything in return for whatever I give. Lolo Panieng and Papa taught me by example. But I have to admit it, at times, a sincere 'thank you' is something I make a big deal out of. Somehow, I am made whole, again after being broken several times that a piece of me sort of flings out far from where I can pick up the pieces.