Because I Am Nearing 50. (Part One)

Because I am nearing 50. (Part One) 

50 Things About Me That You All Probably Know But I Will Write Just The Same Just To Make Fun Of Myself (Get this: 'things', not personalities. 50 personalities would seriously be a psycho disorder.)

1. I am an introvert, or so says a psych metric, MBTI. Or I probably was dishonest in answering the exam questions. A friend says, yes, that is me. I told him, 'ok, I will have to think about that'. He replied, 'see? skeptical.' I guess introversion is not gleaned from one's persona. 

2. I like time being alone more than time with others. Especially when it is an effort to put on a fake smile and do 'small talk'. When I talk, or converse with someone, I know I am enjoying the conversation when I start speaking in English, or  Ilocano. When I do Tagalog in conversations, that is not me. I am pretending. 

3. I smoke. Obviously. But I should have quit a long time ago.

  4.  I will die without airconditioning. 

  5.  I cannot count the times I get migraine attacks. And cannot figure out what the        trigger is, because I am now peri-menopausal.

  6. I don't like loud music. The bass from the speakers make me feel my lungs will    explode.

  7. I live in the world of social media, as much as I live in my real world. Which gets me into trouble most of the time.

8. I have amazing kids. And good-looking ones too, because they take after me. They are my friends more than my kids, though, that at one time, my daughter called me 'gurl' in one of our conversations. I wanted to remind her, 'anak, nanay mo ako.' But what for? Nothing wrong about being called 'gurl' by your daughter right? I mean, I really am a 'gurl'.

9.  I have an alternate father in my son. Sometimes, I resist the urge  to shake him until he is breathless to let my father's spirit out of his body. Goodness, he lectures me like he is hundred years old. For instance, he tells me, 'Mom, you are so unhealthy on facebook.' He is sixteen. I am nearing 50.

10. I do not cook. I know how to cook, though, but up to the level of food being edible enough and safe to feed my kids with. And only when Nanay is on a day off.

11. In the words of Madonna on an interview (Carpool Karaoke), 'I have been around, baby.' Then I see my image in the mirror now, and I force my vomit back down.

12. I am sensitive. Little things hurt me the most. The worst things, I can deal with. But not the small stuff like a text unanswered or a call rejected.

13. I don't like cats. I love dogs. Well, not all dogs. Just our Winky, Thirdy and Chibby.

14. I was recently made to realize that kangaroos are creepy animals. 

15. I love music. Any genre. I cannot sing all of the genres but I enjoy listening. 

16. I play the piano, the guitar and the flute.

17. I learned to drive when I was already married. 

18. I do not know how to cross a street. If I am left alone in the middle of traffic, I will probably die just standing there.

19. I am a geographical idiot. All places, street corners, pavements, street lights, look alike to me. 

20. I am terrible with matching names with faces. 

21. I love shrimps, shells and crabs. I do not eat 'sabong ti karabasa'. I eat all Ilocano green things (the husband calls me 'grass eater', 'lahat ng damo kinakain') but not that, please.

22. I am not a fruit eater, my best is pears, my normal is banana.

23. I drink soda more often than I should. 

24. I am a coffee-chocolates kind of person. I collect coffee mugs.

25. I love green mangoes and 'bagoong alamang'. When I am sick, I drink vinegar like it's wine. 

26. I snore. Nanay says, loudly.

27. I cannot live without Vicks Vaporub or some other spinoff from it. I rub it on my nose, neck, back and feet at night before sleeping. Then I put socks on them. My feet, I mean, not my nose, neck and back.

28. I say 'I love you' everyday to my kids. They must know, everyday.

29. I like to hug people. Some do not hug me back, but I force myself onto them. For a hug, no more than that. Goodness. Hence, I love people who hug tight and do not let go first. 

30. I usually know a person's strength of character through a handshake. 

31. I know when I am being lied to, almost always. 

32. I lie, by ommission. I did not think that not mentioning something was also a form of lying until a friend of mine saw through my expert skirtings from an issue.

33. I have had compassion fatigue for the longest time.

34. I have been operated on a total of three times under general anaesthesia, plus the c-section when I had my son. 

35. I am clumsy and accident-prone. I fractured my toes once just by stepping down a half-inch elevation from the restroom. And I wrecked a chair by our dining table, efficiently having the bathroom doormat as my headrest. My sister thought I fainted, but nope. 

36. I am extremely kind but can be utterly unforgiving.

37. I rarely yell, but when I do, better stay about a hundred meters away, just to be safe.

38. Sometimes, people take my jokes seriously. My face, perhaps?

39. I used to have nice, long fingers. Now I have cholesterol deposits on my used-to-be-lovely fingers.

40. I have a birthmark. 

41. I have never worn a bikini ever. I wore a one-piece swimming suit one time, and after seeing my photo in it, I swore to never humiliate myself that way again.

42. I shave my legs. I am allergic to waxing.

43. I get depressed over a bird who accidentally knocks its head on clear glass, and its wings get injured. Hey, the wings are for flying. What will the bird do now after the injury? 

44. I curse, mostly in Ilocano. Which sounds really terrible.

45. I think I have a teeny-weeny bit of OCD. I have my whole life in my bag. In fact, a pharmacy is in there. 

46. I have seen a ghost. 

47. I obsess over a man's brilliant mind rather than his abs. If the man has abs, however, I do not stare. I just look from the peripherals. 

48. I love Bamboo, not because he is oozing with appeal, but he is actually a deep-thinking man. Ask me how I know. 

49. Water is always my companion.

50. I sometimes make stupid decisions. But I acknowledge my mistakes, I apologize when I need to, and I make up for the hurt I caused.