Of Now And Ceasing To Blame

This Cebu National Conference for DAR officials, the first under the PRD administration, prompted to me to look at matters with less jaded eyes. The past six months gave us all the time off to wait it out and see how this new administration will treat agrarian reform. Whether it is a priority or not, we all expect that recognition be at least given to what has been done after more than two decades, and what the future holds for a program supposedly to be the core of an economy like ours, largely based on agriculture. 

I do not want to sound technical, really, because that is not who I am in this business of serving people. I am simply one who was destined to be in public service, and when I say, I serve my farmers, which is what I am supposed to do, I do that. Not coming from any theoretical framework of some kind. The past two decades or so that I have been in this business, I have always used heart above mind. That gave me enough trouble more than I could handle, but I survived. I negotiate my way through the obscenely worded concepts handed to us from the top, and translate them into what is understandable to my farmers, and what is doable given the realities there are in the countryside. That is the job. As far as I am concerned, of course.

I, however, do not claim that these concepts are of no use. These, in fact, serve as our maps to help us get to the goals. When these trickle down to field people like me, I torture myself in trying to make sense of these concepts and use the thoughts stemming from the torture, to simply, serve. 

Also, I am not a fan of reports, of numbers written down on paper submitted on a deadline, of data boxing in and trivializing what has been done in the field. The numbers do not tell the stories behind them. I have plenty anecdotes which are not listened to. I want the whole organization to know the happy and sad stories beyond the numbers. The success stories we document represent just one of the myriad of dynamics playing in our farmers' lives and fall short of reflecting the true. I do not have a full appreciation for the systems, well, because my brain is not wired to delve into systems thinking. I discovered that painful truth while I was at a course somewhere. The kindest description of myself and how I performed in the systems thinking module is : I am an idiot. 

That is why I do not to overemphasize means rather than the ends. I focus on ends, but give the attention that the means demand, just so to label my work as proper and legitimate, and give prudence a chance. I forced myself to understand finance, and how it is to be efficiently linked to productivity, in its general sense. I asked my staff to teach me, so that at the very least I would get the logic of it all, and further, comprehend why the planning, budget, and other point persons are sleep-deprived most of the time. I mean, really, when they were once told 'sleeping is an option', and that was told me as a feedback, I got so upset and said: 'Who gave whoever the right to tell you not to sleep? What, are they God, or something? Goodness.'

I put together all these loosely with the now, examining what all these details we tediously worked on, complied with (often required asap), and ask, were they all worth it? For one, the knowledge gained from all that work cannot be undervalued. Knowledge is forever stored in our brains, and that can never be taken out. (Unless some alien extracts them from our brains.) 

Now, as to how the knowledge was used to attain objectives, is another story altogether. Were all these taught us successfully place people in their proper places and positions in the organization, which by the way, they all truly deserve? Nope. Were all these taught us solve the underspending that has for the longest time hounded our organization's budget. Nope. Were all these taught us able to immediately address the pressing concerns of the poor farmers? Nope. 

Just those three points, if you please. Firstly, people were made to wait for years for their appointments for promotions, only to be told that the process that we, in the management, did not follow the proper procedure for placement of people by the agency in authority. So while these men and women worked their butts off to prove worthy of their anticipated placement to promoted positions, like ninjas in the background, dynamics among and between those who are supposed to protect and safeguard their rights and welfare silently engaged in power-tripping. Maybe I should have said something to the ninjas: 'Hey, you are playing with people's lives here, you know.'

Second, why on earth did we underspend as an oranization? I will leave that just as that. I told you, I am an idiot when it comes to these things.

Lastly, why are the farmers still hoping and waiting for the help that they told us they needed, years after? 

So now, I put it out there. I do not know whom and what to blame. I know though that I am part of the management which allowed these the happen by saying nothing. I was too much of a coward to say anything, fearing that my own position would be compromised. After this conference, I feel that I need to say something.

To date, at the conference they assured us that things are being done to correct the wrongs. I can only hope. I wish, too, that while the right is trying to be reached, we take responsibility for what is now, and not childishly point fingers at whoever. This habit of conveniently dropping names of people who are no longer with the organization leaves a bad taste in the mouth. It also surfaces the fact that loyalties in government come cheap. Again, 'ibang level ang self-righteousness' is the way Gov Imee describes my posts. I will take that. Just to put the message across.