A Lifetime In A Day and Code Blue

The nurse, Jeffrey, and the two orderlies came at around 11 in the morning to wheel Aidan to the operating room. Before that, Aidan and I were just fooling around, deflecting the fear there was in both our hearts. As usual I was toying with my phone, as he was too, requesting for another round of the game played by everyone except me, Clash of Clans. My heart stopped when Aidan got ready, my stomach constricting in tension, pretty much like when one rides a ferris wheel. We made our way towards the elevator, and I put my hand on Aidan's chest. I asked, 'are your nervous?'. He said, 'yes mom'. By the door of the operating room, I kissed his forehead and told him I love him. Before the door closed, I said, 'bye kiddo!, will be here when you wake up!'. He flashed a thumbs-up. 

I wanted to walk all the way in, but I knew it would be a cause for alarm (you know, security people might be summoned to remove me, haha) so I opted to take one of the seats lined up for relatives of patients to wait. I was told to wait in our room, but I could not leave. I needed to be near my son, regardless of the walls separating us. I felt the urge to smoke so I left the hospital. The prodecure will be for an hour or so, I was told.

I went back to that same seat before an hour lapsed and was informed that the surgery was still going on. So I went to our room in the hospital and waited. Another hour passed. Still no word from the nurses. I was going crazy waiting, so I went back to the seat again, (the operating room was a floor below our hospital room) and waited another hour. I probably asked the nurse assigned there a million times if Aidan was already in recovery. Until, yes, I was told, he is already in recovery, after three hours. But they would not let me see him yet. So the longest three hours of my life was extended to another hour again.

Then, I heard this lady on the speakers say, 'OR staff, Code Blue, Recovery Room', three times over. A team (a herd of nurses in blue scrubs and two doctors in their white coats and skirts) urgently made their way to the recovery room. I remember hearing myself say, 'what's happening, my son is in there?!' as I ran with the herd, wherever they were headed. I do not know what 'Code Blue' meant but by the looks of what was happening, I knew it was not good. One of the lady doctors asked, 'mam, what is your son's name? i will check for you, but please stay here and calm down, i will be out to inform you shortly'. I yelled out my son's name. After my heart forced up my throat for a few minutes, she came out to say, 'your son is sleeping soundly, mam. you need to drink water and calm down.', and handed me water in a disposable glass. 

I drank, sat and put both my hands on my face and wanted to weep. I rocked myself to calmness, and said a prayer of thanks. Turned out that the subject patient on 'Code Blue' was a victim of a vehicular accident. I saw presumably relatives, who were in tears, in and out of the recovery room. I has to turn away. I could not stand the sight of them in grief. My sister Beks arrived to join me almost that time when this episode started. She asked the OR staff if we can see Aidan already. The staff obliged. We were asked to put on scrubs, and these cute pink slip-ons. She wore hers fast, and said she would go in to see Aidan first. I promptly told her, 'i am the mother, right?'. She quickly recovered, and said, 'oh, yeah, right'. We had a good laugh at that one.

So I saw Aidan after three gruelling hours of waiting, touched his forehead and asked how he was. He said he was in pain, his left eye was in pain. He was confused because he could not see where he was, he heard someone crying from somewhere, and that made him uncomfortable. He seemed to be alright when he heard my familiar voice, and I presume my sister's voice after. He was back in his room shortly after that, and forced himself to sleep the pain off. Oh the joys and sadness of today. It is just one day in our lives yet the feelings we all dealt with was that for a lifetime. How could you not love life?