G

Her independence struck me the most. The stories I heard from her father about her already gave me a glimpse of who she is. I saw her when she was just a little girl in our hometown, but after that no opportunities came up to actually meet her. I did one day, with her coming straight from the bathroom, with a towel wrapped around her frail, thin body. She did not say 'hello', instead said, 'I'm underdressed.' I half-waved to acknowledge her. After that meeting, we sort of 'graduated' to kisses. And beauty tips (we both like the same make-up and other vanity stuff).

She does not complain much about her life. She goes to her work, well most times with difficulty. A call center agent cannot do much but go to work on the schedule given. Which is so ridiculous, I admire all of them for turning their body clocks inversely just to take calls from people who live in different time zones with weird accents having problems with their wifi, their fax machines (they still use the thing?), their eBay accounts, and what-not. She forces herself to sleep daytime, and does the exact opposite at night. Yet she took the job, because she had to support herself and help in the household expenses. 

From what I gleaned from conversations with her father, and from her, (if I don't get the details right, my apologies) she had a  normal childhood, which is relative when you are from the outside looking in. She grew up not knowing her real mother, was raised by her father's family, then raised by another important woman in her father's life. She was eating by their dining table when her real mom came to introduce herself, not the typical setting we see in telenovelas. She was in her elementary school days that time, I think. She has never stopped loving her mother since. She nearly went bald, her father used the wrong medication for her hair supposedly to treat a simple problem, her grandmother cried at the sight. She went up fences, in her grandmother's heels, so of course she fell over. She was bullied in school, but she fought back. Of course,  went through the typical rebellious phase growing up, went to college, and finished a nursing degree in more than the number of years one would normally take the course, but she graduated still. She is kind and sweet, not of the overly variety, just normal-kind-and-sweet. 

Even before I met her I knew she was already engaged to this very decent man who went out of his way to meet her father, her mother who lives in the States, her relatives in our hometown, her brother, and everyone who has a connection to her, significant or not. What touched my heart the most because I am a mother, is that this guy actually went out of his way to meet her mother, in the States. When I met this guy, he told me it was important that before a next chapter of her life is opened, her mother is in her life, truly. What does one say to that? 

And so she is leaving in a few days for a new chapter of her life to join her partner abroad and I embrace that with mixed emotions. For one, she has become part of me, even if our world only evolved only on the small, serious conversations about life and all that philosophical stuff, coffee, pasta, food. I am proud to have known this girl. Who loved her father even with all that he is, his flaws, the decisions he made, his hunger for life. She never judged him, displayed gratitude for what he could offer. She respected her father, knew her place. She did not meddle in his affairs and tread the path her father paved for their life, father-and-daughter-son, with decency and politeness.  I guess she will never really know what she means to her father, which is the world. I am absolutely sure that she means the world to him, but her father is not one who would say, or show that. Who loved her brother even when he is distant. Who lived alone for most of her adult life not only because she values her privacy but because that is the life that was gifted her and she is not one to complain. Who took a stray cat and nurtured him, and named him 'PG' (what that means is for me to know and you to find out, hehe). That cat, she bathed, gave catfood to (when in this country cats are fed leftovers), and was taken to the vet when it had an apparent eye infection. Who said, she will simply bring some proper clothes and her books when she leaves. Her books. 

I am sad because our world now will be linked by an internet connection, rather than kisses and hugs. It will not be easy. She will live halfway around the world and I cannot just say,'ok, I miss her, let me go to Amsterdam'. I am happy, too, because she has found another beginning. Proud, sad, happy. For this girl who has so much to offer the world, not just those expressive eyes she got from her mother,  those dimples she got from her father, splashed across her face when she smiles, but her heart. She has a big one, this girl. It welcomed all that happened in her life, and together with her arms wide open, she will be at it again. I have no doubt, with all that she is, she will be alright. Take my love with you, anak. And my prayers.